5 years 2 months

Day 1887. Emmy started having a fever during the night, and so I had both him and Tammy on either side of me during the night, keeping me awake. In the morning I left the house with Sammy just before 8 am, as I had a 9 am appointment at the hospital. That way Randy could stay home with the sick kids, so it worked out perfectly. And Sammy was excited that Mommy was taking him.

After I had dropped him off, I got back on the subway to go downtown and then take the tram to the hospital. It was exactly 9 am, when I sat down in the waiting room. Unfortunately my doctor was busy with other things and only called me in just before 11 am. That was nearly two hours of waiting! And I knew it was going to be the time for some answers.

They took my blood again, then I sat down for the examination. Her stick moved around inside of me for the longest time, going every direction, with clicks, when she'd take a picture. Then she needed some time to put it all into the computer. Only then did she turn to me to give me her conclusions.

She said that my tumor markers had been just over the line and that she believed it was cancer. Only once it's been removed will they know for sure. She gave me a new appointment for Tuesday, when I'll meet with the head doctor, I believe, who will tell me all about the operation and then set a date for it. That same head doctor told her that I needed to do a full torso CT scan (not just abdomen like on Tuesday) before the operation so they could see whether it's spread. Then then started calling around to try to make an appointment for me for the CT scan. He wanted it done on Monday, but it doesn't work that fast. And there were other blood test results they needed for the scan, so the nurse had to come back and take more of my blood. The doctor then sent me off to the department, where the CT scan was done to make an appointment.

When I walked there, they told me it had moved to another floor. When I got to the right place, the guy said that there was something missing and that appointments can only be made by phone. He gave me the phone number and said that it would be faster for the doctor to make the call. So he sent me back to her.

I went back and knocked on the door and told the doctor what I'd found out. She then started calling around again, getting frustrated by the bureaucracy making it so hard. In the end she had done it, and I had an appointment for Thursday at 7:30 am.

A lot of time had passed, and while she was busy on the phone, I texted Randy that Sammy needed to be picked up by 1 pm and that I was not gonna make it there in time. Randy had just warmed up the soup and sat down with the kids to eat. They quickly finished, the kids got dressed, and together they left to go pick up Sammy.

I had to go back to the place one more time to have the appointment confirmed, then I was free to leave. Finally! By 1:15 pm I was back home.

The kids were happy to see me, especially Tammy, who's been the most worried about me going to the hospital. I got myself some soup to eat, which was good, then I needed to get some rest. I'm still in pain, even though it's much better. I lay down, while Randy took the kids downstairs. Soon I got so tired that I closed my eyes to sleep.

I had already woken up, when Emmy came into the room. I then went downstairs with him to do piano practice with him and his sister. Then I returned upstairs. After a while, they all came upstairs, and before it was even 5:30 pm, Sammy was asking for food, so I went to the kitchen to make their food.

After they had eaten, they all went into the bathtub, where they ate some more, then I put Sammy to bed before lieing down with Tammy and Emmy for a bedtime story. Tammy is doing so much better, and Emmy was never as bad as his sister and is also looking better. After the story I prayed for them, they brushed their teeth, then they went to bed.  And I went to the kitchen to start making my salad.

Emmy was coming to me and lieing down by me really early tonight, but we carried him back to his own bed after a while.