5 years 1 month 24 days

Day 1881. This has been one of the physically most painful weeks of my life and it's annoying how slow-going recovery is. And it all came out of the blue!

MONDAY

As every morning, I helped getting the kids ready for kindergarten, then Randy left with them close to 8:30 am, and I lay back down. I'd had two short nights in a row and was looking forward to getting more sleep. However, I was already feeling pain in my belly, and it was getting worse and worse. Soon it was so bad that it made me cry. I called Randy and asked him to come straight home instead of going to the grocery store. I called my doctor who said to go to the hospital if the pain became too much, and she gave me a prescription for pain medication. I also vomitted three times. When Randy got home later than usual, he went to the pharmacy to get the prescription drugs. I took them, but they didn't make any difference.

And so we decided to go to the big hospital that is only two subway stops away. It was hard enough to make it there. I could only walk slowly because of the pain. In addition I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open.

We went to the emergency room that was empty. The lady at the counter gave me a paper to fill out. Great! I filled it out, gave it to her, then we sat down in the empty waiting room. More waiting. I just wanted this terrible pain to be over. Finally a doctor came and called me into a room. I sat down on the chair, while Randy stood at the door and watched, not understanding what was being said. The doctor pushed around on my belly, checked my blood sugar levels (?) and my blood pressure, then gave me two shots for the pain instead of the IV my doctor had recommended. He said they didn't have the personnel to do an IV.

WIth the same intense pain I  went back home. Even the shots made no difference.  Randy had to go get the kids, and as I could not do anything, he had to first get Tammy and Emmy and then pick up Sammy, so I would not have to be home alone with Sammy.

In the afternoon I vomitted one more time, for the last time for the time being. On Mondays Tammy has ballet and Emmy soccer, but they overlap, so one of them had to skip their class and that was Tammy. Tammy and Sammy stayed home with me, while Randy left with Emmy at 5 pm to take him to soccer. I helped having Tammy to help with Sammy, but Sammy became witness to me vomitting twice. The first time it really scared him. He then kept telling everyone that Mommy vomitted. When I did home alone with him and Tammy, he went to Tammy and said, "Mommy is dead."

Half-way into Emmy's soccer class, I called Randy and asked them to come home right away. I was in so much pain that I was crying. Emmy played a few more minutes, then they left to come home.

TUESDAY

Needless to say, the night was terrible. There were times I could just cry because the pain was so intense.  And having Tammy on my left and Emmy on my right, their legs would get throw on my belly in their sleep, making me scream in pain.

The day continued just like the last one, with intense pain and tears at times. I asked my doctor, who checked on me, for stronger pain medication, but it didn't help either. Nothing did. I was getting desperate.

Sammy had a doctor's appointment at his therapy center at 11 am that Randy took him to, then he took him with him to go pick up the other two. Once home, he had to leave with Sammy right away to take him to his weekly physiotherapy session. The guinea pig was back, and Sammy got to feed and brush it.

Normally I take Emmy to his dance class, Tammy coming along, before Randy comes home, but the he had to skip his class too. Once Randy was home, I asked him whether he was up to taking them to their ball-playing class, as he had gone non-stop all day. Sammy was so excited to see his friend there, who is a Dad of one of the other kids. I was amazed that Randy said he was going to take them. At 4 pm they all left the house. As you can see on the pictures, Sammy had lots of fun there.

WEDNESDAY

The night was just as bad as the first one. Something had to happen as I just could not take the pain any more. I talked to my doctor again who said she had connections at the big university hospital (where I gave birth) and was gonna call there. She recommended I go to that hospital to be checked out. However, it was far from home and I was not well enough to be able to go there on public transportation. I asked my Mom, whether she could take me and was surprised, when she said yes. While Randy was out picking up the kids from kindergarten, my Mom picked me up to take me there.

It was great to have that unexpected time with my Mom, but every bump in the road caused me extra pain. We parked in the hospital garage. It's a huge hospital, and it was a VERY LONG walk to the emergency room. I wished I had taken a wheelchair at the entrance. Because I could only walk very slowly and with much pain, it took a while to get there.

When we got there, someone pointed us to where to go for "triage". Nobody was there, so I sat down, and we waited. Then a doctor came and asked me question. He was very unfriendly and dismissive. He asked why I hadn't gone back to the first hospital, and why I hadn't just gone to my doctor. He acted like I had no business being there, but put all the information into the computer. Then I had to wait in the waiting room.

After having waited a reasonable amount of time, I was called into a consultation room. There was a very young doctor there. I lay down on the bed, and once again had to tell him everything that had occurred. Another young guy came in and took my blood and then got my arm ready for the IV. The doctor did an ultrasound, which my doctor had recommended, to see whether there were any gallstones. Everything was fine on the screen. He also pushed against my belly everythere, causing me pain each time. Then he hooked up the IV with the same pain medication I had received on Monday that had not helped, gave me cup for urine sample, and sent me to the waiting room.

So I went to the bathroom, handed it the sample, and sat down in the waiting room with my Mom. We waited for quite some time, longer than 30 minutes, then I was called back in. The doctor told me right away that the blood and urine tests had shown that I had a massive urinal tract infection. What a relief to finally know what was wrong with me! He gave me a prescription for antibiotics and a pain medication, then sent me home.

I asked whether I could have a wheelchair, but the lady there told me my Mom could drive up her car right to the emergency entrance right there. That was great news! So I sat down in the waiting room again, while my Mom left to go get her car and bring it up. I waited a long time, but then she was there. Once again the bumps on the road were so very painful, as she drove me home. We stopped at a pharmacy to get the medication, then my Mom dropped me off at home. I was so very thankful that she had taken the time to help.

It was about 4:20 pm, when I got home. Nobody was home, as Randy had taken the kids to their exercise class. Normally I get a report and pictures about that class, but not this week. They always have lots of fun there.

Nothing changed for me the rest of the day. The pain was as intense than ever.

THURSDAY
Thursday was just the same. I was so tired of that constant and intense pain, but it was not subsiding yet. And the new pain medication was not helping either. Under a lot of pain I managed to do piano practice with the kids, which I had done on Tuesday as well. On Tuesday I had even cooked lunch - don't ask me how. But I had cooked enough to last us all week.

On Thursday the only class is Sammy's wheelchair class. Randy left with him at 4:30 to take him there.

That night I made a fundamental error, my pain still being as intense as ever. I had barely eaten anything all week and actually had to force myself to eat something. I decided to eat some beef soup (bone broth) with noodles and got a cup with cut up beef out of the freeze to let it thaw on the counter. That was probably the main mistake. That beef had already been pretty old, when I had put it into the freezer, but I had eaten the first third then without any issues. Had I put it into the soup in its frozen state, I probably would have been fine. But it had thawed. The moment I put it in, that smell of warning reached my nose. What should I do? The bone broth is expensive, so I didn't want to throw it all out. I decided to not eat the meat but still drink the broth.

FRIDAY

For the first time the pain was considerably better on Friday morning. But I vomitted again and had diarreah. Was that because of the spoiled meat? Probably. I was feeling pretty miserable and had to once again cancel my students of the day. But the intense pain was better, thank God. I felt like I was up to being home alone with Sammy for 4 hours in the afternoon. Randy picked him up and brought him home, then left to go get the other two and take them to their tennis class.

I had never seen Sammy cry like this, when Randy left and didn't take him with him. All week he'd been around with Daddy to pick up his siblings or go places. He wanted to go with Daddy instead of staying with me. But I know what he likes and was able to get him laughing and excited again. He still wanted to call Daddy much earlier than usual.

I had not been able to do any kind of work all week. And so I was able to give Sammy what he wanted, i.e. watching videos of himself and his siblings from when they were younger. We sure did a lot of that. I was glad, when Randy and the kids returned after 4 pm. Sammy had been crying for him for a while, and I'd told him he'd be back very soon and to wait by the door for him.

SATURDAY

It was the first day I had to leave the house, and I was wondering how it was gonna go. I was still rather weak and had pain. But since I'm the one to do piano practice with them every day, I had to be in class to see what they were doing. The pain was better, so that was a big plus.

We left a few minutes earlier than usual, as I was not able to walk that fast and we had some walking to do. I was holding onto Randy while walking. Thankfully we reached the music school in time. I was feeling worse than expected. And I still had diarreah.

This week we had not practiced every day, but skipped two days and that was noticeable in how well they were doing. After the greeting song, the kids stayed at their pianos and did some warm up exercises. Sammy was really happy to have a piano as well, as one student hadn't come. He stayed around for a while, then Randy went outside with him.

The first half of the class the kids did really well, participated, behaved. The reviewed what they had practiced during the week and learned a few new things. Emmy did perfectly, while Tammy had a hard time with the theoretical part at the board. On the whole, Emmy is doing better and playing better, and he also has fun practicing now, never complains, while Tammy whines, when we practice.

The second half of the class Emmy's behavior deteriorated. He sat, when he should stand or lay down, when he should sit. He also sang too loud. The teacher taught them a new song to sing. In the end, he told them the much-anticipated story.

I was glad I had made it through the class, but all I wanted was to get home. We were skipping swimming class. It was a long way home, and I walked just as slowly as before. Back at home, I pulled out the lasagnas I had put into the oven before leaving the house and portioned them for everyone. Then I could FINALLY lay down. Later I also ate a little of the lasagna.

One of the several reasons for skipping swimming was that the kids had an invitation to a birthday party that started at 2 pm. I had really been looking forward to it, but there was no way I could go. At 1:30 pm Randy left with all the kids, and I got to have a quiet afternoon.

It was actually Sammy who was invited to his friend's 10th birthday, the friend who is part of the wheelchair class with him and that he likes a lot. Tammy and Emmy were also allowed to come. I could tell from the pictures that they had lots of fun. There was music and colorful lights and light sticks. There was cake, and the girl got Sammy's birthday present, a puzzle with a picture of the two of them. She really liked it.

At 5 pm it was Randy who'd had enough and decided it was time to go home. They were only skipping the pizza at the end.

And so I was surprised, when they all got home as early as 5:30 pm. I got up to make their dinner, but didn't help with the bathtub. I read them a story, then they went to bed. I've been going to bed early every night because I'd just fall asleep, and did so again.